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A Tale of Two States. Here are my letters to the AG of Vt and the da/ag/police in Nevada. I'll start with the nice one:

I’ve decided before I can get to my recovery I should probably talk about the final dominos in my life before that night on video occurred. I think it needs to be understood to understand what happened and why I stayed with {D}.

It would appear that {D} is in fact no longer an employee of the state of Vermont. Letter are to be written by me to AGs across the country one a thank you and another a fuck you, do your fucking job. Take your guess as to which state gets which. 

So don’t have confirmation yet but I believe it it’s true. But I won’t say that with certainty until I hear it from the state.

I have yet to be able to confirm anything and I’m not sure what is happening.

I bought a necklace. Anyone who knows me knows that buying jewelry is kind of the norm for me. This necklace is different.

I’m thinking about it again. Today I am really pissed they just ignore me when I say anything about arresting {M}. They just act like I didn’t say it. I’m being raped in those videos and two men are perpetrating this crime on video and neither one can be charged.

There are five reasons of punishment. One of them is retribution. I keep saying that this is to protect others but that is only partially true because altruism is what it is. I do want him to pay a price for what he did to me. I do want him labeled and shunned by a society that cares about women. I want him to live with the guilt and the horror every single day of his life. Prison. That’s where creatures like him belong. Prison, where he would be left to count the days and count the grey hair while it grows. He would be away from women he could harm. He would be damned.

I’ve been struggling to write the next post. I have been looking at man’s law versus god’s law on the whole thing and the concept of retribution in the law and in the Bible. Fascinating stuff but I’m not happy with it yet.

Bad music Friday. We laid in bed that evening at my apartment where we rarely went., but the cleaning lady had just come. We were listening to the worst pop songs I could possibly think of and playing it on the bedroom stereo and drinking. Vodka and pineapple for me and G&T for him.

I have an unusual anatomy for a woman my age. I’ve had a few things happened in life that have made the anatomical structure of my genitalia unique. First and foremost, I have never given birth vaginally. The largest object that has ever been in my vagina was {D}’s fist that night. Additionally I had cervical cancer. Still being in my 20s at the time, the doctor agreed to just remove part of the cervix so the uterus and cervix would remain. I have about half a cervix.