I’ve decided before I can get to my recovery I should probably talk about the final dominos in my life before that night on video occurred. I think it needs to be understood to understand what happened and why I stayed with {D}.
If you will remember, the previous dominos were my neurological disorder progressing to a point where my body started tightening up and entombing me in my own body unable to move and there is nothing that can be done and no diagnosis or treatment because they can’t figure out why and have labeled it “a rare form” of ALS. Not news you want to get.
Then I went off the rails and started using drugs after a decade of not even dabbling in any illegal substance. I always said I was the only person who moved to Vegas and quit doing drugs. That when the Tim incident happened with him demanding oral sex from me and me learning to say no.
The next domino
December 2023
After the incident with Tim, I decided that I needed to get my life together. I went to a daily group therapy session to get my life back on track and get off the drugs. At group I shared about the drugs and the indiscriminate sex and the diagnosis. I didn’t even get to Tim. Everyone in group was supportive.
A man from the group asked me for a ride home. I cheerfully agreed to take him home. Once in the car, he started talking about drugs and sex. Then he asked me for sex and I refused. He removed his penis from his pants and grabbed my wrist and put my hand on his penis as I drove. I pulled away and we struggled for a little while with him trying to get me to touch him.
Me being me, I thought it rude to just kick him out of the car so I just fought him and drove with one hand the rest of the way to his place. I should have pulled the car over and shoved him out, but I don’t know why I didn’t.
The following day at group I told the therapist what happened and she told me she would kick him out of group but, I told her he needed help too and that wasn’t fair to him. I stopped going to group.
Then New Year’s. My boyfriend at the time (we did have an open relationship and he had been with me at Tim’s a couple of times, so he knew what I was doing) and I were rocky mainly I know because of my behavior. He was also a lawyer, the second of a trilogy of lawyers I dated prompting my mother to make me promise to stop serial dating lawyers. But on New Years he was drinking and had a touch of an alcohol problem (as everyone I date does) and insulted my body. My breasts specifically. We got into a huge fight and broke up.
That night, I texted {D} to wish him a happy new year. He was wasted and in San Francisco I believe at a concert. We chatted for a while. We didn’t normally talk much because I was keeping at arms length because he had dropped me for another woman previously. But we chatted. And we chatted more after that.
In the meanwhile, I’m dying a slow painful death and I know it and I didn’t want to die alone. Simple stuff. I had a stalker for 3 years who texted me every single day for three years after we went on one date. That date three years prior scared the hell out of me. My dogs were terrified of this guy and when he touched me I literally thought “this is how I die.” I texted him and told him I wasn’t interested. So he texted me every day for 3 years and I never responded.
In the mind frame I was in in January of 2024, I thought it was a good idea to contact him back because if he had been so dedicated to text me every day for 3 years it would stand to reason that maybe he wanted me.
He did.
I went out with him, he is a metaphysical crystal healer named Brad. This is a moment in my life I wish I could have made up, at dinner he explained to me I was a metaphysical healing warrior fairy. He explained I was a deity and I had very strong healing powers and that is why he was so obsessed with me.
Brad then asks me to let him do a crystal healing on me. I agreed. I got in the car with him and he then told me that he does his healings in a storage unit. My biggest concern at this moment was whether he lived in the storage unit (this is vegas, I’ve seen weirder shit happen). He assured me he didn’t.
When we got there and we walked through the dark storage park, he explained that because he played drums in a band he built a sound proof room in the back of the storage unit. I blindly said that was cool.
When we got into the sound proof room, there was no drum set surprisingly. There was a massage table and a little table with a lamp on it and a table with a bunch of crystals. Think Dexter kill room but with crystals. I did have sex with him willingly, which is the only reason, as my old therapist told me , I am not dead because he was probably going to rape and kill me. And I walked in blindly.
It took three full days for me to wake up in the middle of the night and realize what I did and how dangerous it was that I did it. I called my friend at like 3am and explained what happened. She and my mom because extremely concerned about me because I was making really bad decisions.
Again, I was chatting with {D} which was becoming more frequent and having longer conversations. I told him what happened with Brad and he said “you didn’t say he raped you” and I said he didn’t because I had sex with him willingly and he joked about how no one would have to rape me. I said I’m alive, “yay for being a whore”
Then, the epic text. I was sick and fucking tired of men. I had a collection of 3 fuck buddies {D}, {S} the card dealer from jersey, and {R} the drug dealer from that night. I had known {D} and {S} 6 years and {R} 10. I had asked both {D} and {S} to date me for years. I had feelings for them both. {R} I had dated 10 years prior and I wasn’t interested but he was. I finally got pissed at {D} and {S} and sent them each a very long text message basically telling them off. I was nicer to {S} than I was to {D}. {S} in response cried and told me he just wasn’t ready. {D} on the other hand didn’t respond. I apologized for what I said and kind of begged him to take pity on me. He finally responded and told me it was funny and he didn’t care what I said. I what I know now that I didn’t know then is how insecure {D} is.
I really believe that is why he wanted to hurt me that night.
Next I meet {M}. I got a call at like 2 am from {R} telling me he wanted me to come party. I said no. He said he had a friend and he wanted to meet me and all this. so I went. We did drugs and had sex in {R}’s office. Then at the crack of dawn {R} tells me to get him to get a hotel room. We do and we binge on drugs for a day alone. {M} and I hit it off. We talked for hours and had sex and we really liked each other.
It was during this first meeting that he told me about his last car, a 2003 Mercedes SL55 with hand crafted dual amg turbos silver in color. As he told me about the car I said I had a friend with that exact same car but he had sold it a couple years before. {M} had bought the car in that time period and it slowly dawned on me that it was the same vehicle.
The next day I contacted {D} to get the details of his SL and it was exact. What are the odds? So I proposed a 3 way between us. We agreed to the weekend between the playoff and the Super Bowl.
{M} and I went on a couple of dates. We were both saying it was not a relationship but we were also walking around holding hands at the movie theater and the casino
I saw {D} one night I never spent much time with him so I thought 2 hours tops and I made plans with {M-} for later that night. I was there until 2:30am at which point {D} told me to spend the night. I had never spent the night with him before. It was a big deal.
The next day I asked {D} to date me again and he said no. We’re better off just fucking. He was right I was wrong. The running joke was I know everything but he’s always right. There is so much truth to that statement. But I got pissed.
The party was the following Friday. This would have been maybe Tuesday or Wednesday. I almost didn’t even call him for the party. In fact {M} after the night I didn’t show up, was getting jealous and said he didn’t want {D} there.
After {M} and I had been doing drugs and had sex a couple time, the drugs had an effect on {M}’s erection. We decided to call {D} in as a back up or as {D} put it “the stunt cock.”
And that’s how {D} ended up there that night.
I won’t go any further with the story right now, because pending legal actions, but I will start off my journey to recovery from that point on.
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